Embarrasing question, but...how does one meet singles who are fellow-furs?
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Hiya -- new fur here! Fresh out of the...woods? Anyway, this is something I'm really embarrased to be asking (not sure it's even appropriate here!)...but I saw browsing the forums that y'all have a LOT of good advice for newbies to the fandom so, here it goes! I LOVE fursuiting...I loved it even before I knew there was such a THING as the furry fandom! Dressing like an outrageously oversized mammal, the actual experience of having fur and a muzzle and a tail, getting to clown around in front of a crowd in a way that would be a wee bit awkward in "human" form, and of course attracting so much attention and getting so many photo shots and hugs -- no other kind of fun or thrill anything like it! (So much so that you often FORGET it's 130 degrees in the suit!!!) Anyway, I'm digressing...as a lad of 23, I've really been wishing I could find a girlfriend who likes fursuiting as much as I do. (It'd be SO FUN...we could goof off in public clad in our fur-laden attire together!) But, it's VERY hard to find people who are interested in this kind of thing just meeting people randomly, and even WITHIN the fandom I understand women make up only...15% of the population is it? (And at the conventions, it might be difficult to tell which of the fursuiters are even girls!!!) So, how might someone go about potentially meeting gals who like fursuiting? Do they have "furry singles" columns or something like that? (...I should probably decide on a fursona first, though!) Oh, BTW (and if y'all don't mind my asking), would you say furs in general tend to be the playful, spontaneous types, who don't take life too seriously? Well, gotta go...jury duty tomorrow morning (ugh). Thanks! |
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Icerocket
Location: Quaker Hill, CT
I met my mate, whom of which I just celebrated my 4th anniversary with, on www.pounced.org which is a furry personals site. As you can figure, I'm happy with the results.
=^__^=
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permalinkLocation: Chicago, IL
When I've been single and looking to change that, I've found the best way to do it is to keep doing the things I enjoy, and going to the places I like going to. The people you run into doing the same things as you are most likely to share your interests, I think.
It's not a perfect science, but if you're meeting people with the same interests as you, after awhile you and that other person will probably bump into each other.
In your case, I'd suggest immersing yourself in the fursuiting community, if you want to meet someone who likes costuming
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permalinkLocation: Philadelphia, PA
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I'm gonna second that. Forced relationships don't work and times when I've gone out looking for someone I've wound up in a lousy situation.
The best relationships I've been in are the ones where I meet the person doing something that I enjoy and we strike up conversation about it. I met my girlfriend at AC last year (at 2's show. It was the tom goes to the mayor shirt.) Turned out she was local, and things took off after a while. Point is that the best way to meet someone is to not worry about meeting someone and just enjoy and do stuff you normally do, just like Simba said.
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permalinkLocation: Ardmore, PA
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I agree with what others have said. To summarize:
Forcibly looking == bad idea
Doing things you like and meeting someone who you connect with == awesome idea
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permalinkWell thank you all so much for that wonderful advice! That's great input! From what you've told me, though, it sounds like females might not be quite as rare in the fandom as they say, then?
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permalinkLocation: Philadelphia, PA
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Nope.
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permalinkLocation: Syracuse, NY
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Just for fun I reviewed the names of the artists participating in the Art Show:
Male: 62
Female: 84
Could be either: 14
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permalinkLocation: Philadelphia area, PA
Not entirely. Most of the studies i've seen put the female population at furcons at about 15-25%. That's not so small that we stick out like sore thumbs, though it is small enough that we (or at least i) notice the ratio. If you look at the dates on the postings on pounced.org, you can sort of see the effect.
I wouldn't worry about that ratio thing, however; it's not that helpful in your situation.
If you find a girl to hang out with who likes some of the same things you do and seems to be into you, who cares if she's a statistical minority? You don't need any more of her, after all. And if you don't find such a girl, it doesn't matter if the place is crawling with females; the right one for you wasn't there. C'est la vie.
If you come to the gather assuming that there's only a limited number of females and you a. need to quick snatch yours up before someone else does, or b. couldn't possibly be interesting enough for one of them to choose you over the other available males, then you'd be letting that ratio get in your way. Just relax. If you happen to see someone around who you think is interesting, talk to her and see if she continues to be interesting on closer acquaintance. If not, don't sweat it. Check out pounced.org if you want to be a little more proactive, but don't sweat that, either; the worst that happens is you meet a bunch of folks who don't interest you, and in the process you find out more about what you want.
But don't stress. It's not like anything bad's gonna happen to you if you wait a while.
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permalinkLocation: Sioux City, IA
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*chuckles*
No, we exist. And a fair number of us are single, too!
~Tyrrlin
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permalinkLocation: Alaska
Heh, I think the perception comes from everyone saying they're male in MUDs and other environments like SL.
I know most of the women who say they're male. They do so because everyone will hit on them and make sexist comments. 
Plus the other thing, I don't know how so many make time but many females well.. do productive things instead of sitting around playing video games. I'm male, but I think video games are a gigantic waste of time and I'd rather spend time earning money.
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permalinkLocation: New Jersey
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There is some truth to this, however you have to remember that there are all sorts of different cases, male and female. I myself am female and like to roleplay male characters more often than female just because I enjoy it, not necessarily to avoid the consequences of being female. Also, I do know plenty of girls and women who waste away, glued in front of the computer playing WoW, or worse, Final Fantasy XI, to the point of endangering their real-life relationships and job positions. We are not all immune.
===========
Do you still love the old Sonic the Hedgehog Saturday Morning cartoon? I sure do.
http://www.freedomfightersforever.com
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permalinkLocation: Alaska
*head spins around*
I wasn't aware NOT acting like a complete pig, jerk, and other nice descriptive words was a "consequence". I could easily say, being male is a consequence, males are prone to being jerks. ^_^
You don't have to tell me about OCD
I'm addicted to work, crafts, and sewing and can't stop. I've a friend who played FF games excessively years ago. She should never come out of her room, she still is a game addict... oh, top the sims on to that as well... she LOVES the sims...
Let me give you some green color and you will ask for more!
I've got a cure, throw all the game stuff out and indulge you to *gasp* REAL LIFE. Biking, hiking, geocaching, running until you drop, climbing, mountain biking(not fun unless you come home bloody. Yeah... both sexes say the same thing... o.o), gardening, dogs, taking care of farm animals, etc etc, the list goes on with this thing called "real life".
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permalinkLocation: Philadelphia area, PA
No, the consequence comes in others' attitudes towards females in MUCKs and MMORPGs. My sense is that in places like that, male is very much the default gender, where the player can choose whether to make gender an issue. So, since some males rp females as a way to attract more flirting (and more than flirting), i think some folks assume that any female is there for that kind of play. Some furs, and some communities, are better about this than others.
And really, it's not like we females can't be insensitive jerks, too--the presence of ovaries does not magically cure us of all manner of selfish, thoughtless behavior. We just have different ways of going about it sometimes.
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permalinkLocation: New Mexico
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I love video games, yes it's an addiction for me, but there are worse things to be addicted to. I still work full time and take college classes and do other things, but I enjoy video games so I'm gonna play 'em ;p I often like choosing male avatars simply because I may find the design for the female characters to be insulting
But if I create a character that I want to represent "me" then it's always female, whereas ones that are less personal tend to be male. Same goes for characters I make up (rather than have in a game) - except for my personas, they're all male because I like them that way x)
Vilsy-
I can vouch that WoW can be pretty damn addictive; there was a period of time where I didn't go a day without at least logging on but in the last couple of months I generally only play three nights a week for "raids."
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permalinkLocation: New Jersey
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Sivi- Cheers to a fellow WoW player!
I shouldn't have come off like I myself don't love playing video games. I used to play WoW like mad, but I am taking a long break from it since it is very time consuming. It's just troubling to see friends lose control, but like all things it just takes some discipline. I 100% agree with you... I only really play male characters in MMOs and the like because the female counterparts are usually visually unappealing since they're most often stereotyped or otherwise plain "fail". 
Sorry if I was careening off topic, but hopefully the idea that there is a broad range of interests and people that you'll be able to meet is encouraging.
=============
Do you still love the old Sonic the Hedgehog Saturday Morning cartoon? I sure do.
http://www.freedomfightersforever.com
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permalinkLocation: Wescosville PA
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:Walks by the board, seeing the posts. Shrugs and posts his personal add:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Single Silver Wolf Seeking Single Female
26, male, six foot one, one hundred eighty pounds, hazel green eyes, brown hair
Looking for playful female furry to hang out with, spend time with, and in general, get into as much fun trouble as can be. Anything more resulting from just hanging out is considered a plus. Getting together at AC would be great, or in the local area of Allentown PA.
If interested, send reply
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:Looks over the ad and laughs at how corny it is:
Humor, you HAVE to love it.
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permalinkLocation: Philadelphia, PA
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...okay.
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permalinkI've wondered that myself...
I've never realy found a date but oddly every year at AC I get a number of marraige proposals
I'll never under stand why
*goes back to making cookies*
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permalinkLocation: New Mexico
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Expect one from me this year - I love cookies AND Terry Pratchett. x)
Edit: AND bunnies. ^_^
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permalinkWebsite: [Link]
Can we custom order a bunch? ;.;
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permalink'COOKIES, COOKIES, COOKIES'...everyone!
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permalinkI've never fursuited, but would you settle for a girl to spot you?
So I'll be honest, I too have wondered if AC might not be the place to pick up a good match. Too bad it's only once a year
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permalinkLocation: Ardmore, PA
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It's as good as any other gathering of people with a common interest.
I know of others who met each other online and used AC as an excuse to meet each other in real life. Usually it works out well.
There are other furry conventions out there. I'm just sayin'.
--
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permalinkTRAITOR!!!
-There is no truth
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permalinkLocation: Hainesville, IL
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Oh really?
---
Tom Brady/Duncan da Husky
Artists Alley and Con Store Manager
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permalinkWebsite: [Link]
I love AC. My first furry con, been doing it 8 years... BUT. MFF is better.
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permalinkLocation: Hainesville, IL
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Maybe it's because I work for multiple conventions (Anthrocon and Midwest FurFest, and more than likely will be adding Furry Connection North to that next year), but I'd like to think that there isn't any "better" or even "best" or "worst" - each furry convention has its own niche, and its own areas of successes and, um, not-so-successes. This isn't a competition, though - it's about each convention's organizers striving to create the best possible experience for its attendees for that weekend.
And while it may be that Convention A better suits you than Convention B, for the next person their feelings may be the opposite. That's why I always try to urge folks to go to as many conventions as they can, be it one or three, four, or five, and try to enjoy a wide range of convention experiences.
(And hey, if anyone wants to add to those experiences, I'm always looking for help in Artists Alley
)
---
Tom Brady/Duncan da Husky
Artists Alley and Con Store Manager
For fastest replies to questions about Artists Alley, e-mail me at
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permalinkSO sorry for taking so long in responding…final exams and then laboratory work, you know – but that’s probably a little more information than you wanted! Maybe I was also just busy stashing nuts away for the winter! (Not that I’ve decided if a squirrel is, after all, the fursona that I want, that is – but if it works for a bad pun, I’ll buy it! Hmm, maybe I’ll switch off between a number of fursonas…like James Bond! With fur.)
ANYWAY…what was this post about again? Oh yeah: finding furry fems (tongue-twister, ain’t it?). You folks all sound so friendly…and hilarious!!! And all your great answers – so there ARE female furs out there…and some single! You’re right, it doesn’t matter if there in the minority, so long as they’re there. I’m so delighted to know there’s hope yet for the lone fur!
(…A lot better than betting on the chance that I’ll just happen to run into someone dancing in public dressed like a giant rodent for no particular reason, and then that they’ll turn out to be a single female! Of course, I guess that still COULD happen…)
I guess like y’all recommended, I’ll just have to start getting out to the cons more. Hmm…practical question: how do you know which fursuiters are gals, anyway? (No wisecracks please…unless of course they’re really funny!) Is there some kind of a “headless“ rest area for chatting?
And no hurries if I’m 23 you say? Hmm…what age do the singles start disappearing, anyway?
And sure, always nice to have a spotter…especially if I’m in one of those suits where the eyes are on the side of the head! (Ever worn one of those?) But really, you should try wearing one if you get the chance – sure, it feels like being inside a sealed sportscar that’s been sitting in the sun for three hours…but all the hugs and photo shoots, plus the amenity of getting to act like a goofball in public with your identity unknown, makes it well worth it! Simply looking at yourself in front of the mirror in one of the suits and asking yourself “is that me?” is fun, too (c’mon, I can’t be the only one that does that)!
Ha…very smooth, OrimCalix! But no, I’m afraid I’m not much of a gamer; I know, I’m totally missing out, huh? But did someone say…COOKIES???
Okay, byeeee everyone – hope this year’s con was a blast!
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permalinkThere is a Headless Lounge, but not all fursuiters are there at one time. (Do I hear Kage groaning "Thank God!"?) This is for short-term visits to cool off; it is not intended for long-term lurking to discover which suiters are female. Even then, there would not necessarily a way to determine whether they are... unattached, for lack of a better term.
I will say that, as a practical matter, there is no method within the con rules to determine whether a suiter is female inside the costume. The gender of the suit indicates nothing about the gender of the person inside it.
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permalinkGood point...the last thing I'd want is to make the few fursuiting gals out there feel as though guys are lurking in wait (my fursona is NOT much of a predator!). I'd imagine concerns like that might be part of the reason a number of females might be hesitant to be too public about the whole thing!
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permalinkLocation: HI
Yeah I have often pondered this situation, especially since I have recently become single. I do have to agree what others have said about looking too hard for a relationship. Personally I am kinda in a tough spot as far as finding a fellow fur, let alone a female one. This is mostly due to location, location, location. I have been to two cons in the past, but have not been able to meet anyone. I found that a lot of furs tend to meet online and then try and meet up at the con. I did try and do that with someone before, but kinda had a bad experience. I think as a fursuiter you will actually be able to meet a lot more people than an nonsuiter like myself walking around.
I don't know where you live exactly, but if there are furs in your area, they probably meet. You can try and go there and check it out. At the very least you will probably meet some new friends. If you are like me and don't really have any furs in your area you can try the dreaded "online," search for love, which can be like russian roulette with more than one bullet. If you do this, just make sure the person is close for your own sanity.
I may be single for quite a while if I want someone in the fandom and am not always comfortable with revealing my furry ties to people I don't know very well, so it does pose a problem while searching for a potential mate. If anything I have learned that it comes around when you least expect it, so just keep your ears perked and your head on a swivel, lest you get clothes-lined by cupid. XP
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permalinkLocation: NJ
I say dress in full regalia and run up to random girls shouting, "I'm a furry! You wanno go out with me?"
And after just a few thousand rejections (and restraining orders, and possibly stab wounds) you're sure to find one!
(It should be noted that Charles doesn't even take his own advice, because he knows better.) :B
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permalinkHa! Not such a bad idea, actually...
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permalinkLocation: Philadelphia area, PA
Of course now, just for completeness, i feel the urge to point out this AC livejournal post out, just in case folks didn't see it a couple weeks back...
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permalink